Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Well, today marks month 7 on the waitlist for our 4-5 year old boy!!!! Oh, how my heart is breaking. Over the past few months I've had to let go of a lot of expectations I had created for my little family. I truly thought we'd be home by now and we'd be getting ready to enjoy the summer bonding and getting to know each other before the craziness of the school year starts back up in the fall. Little guy could be ready for kindergarten and I was really hoping to have a chunk of time with him before sending him off to school!! But, obviously, that was not God's plan for us. And, I'm starting to be OK with that. I will wait as long as God wants us too, because in this wait, He is loving me. He is loving my boy. He is loving my entire family! And in that, I'm at peace. I do wish we'd have a few answers as to "why" we've been waiting for sooo long, but, for now, I guess we're not to know the details quite yet. His story will be told through this, and it will be His glory that shines through. I just need to step aside so God can work. :) I've also realized, that in this wait, I'm learning more about the depth of Christ's love for me. And no matter how messed up I am, how many mistakes I make, how sinful I am.... He loves me NO MATTER WHAT!! And, as I step away from the fairytale I've created of bringing my boy home, I'm going to need Christ's love to love my boy the way he deserves to be loved! As my sweet friend said, Love is a Fruit of the Spirit for a reason-- we NEED Christ to love the way He wants us to!

So, thank you Lord for giving me this wait to learn more about you and the depth of your love!!! Thank you for preparing my heart to LOVE my boy--because this momma's heart will mess up, make BIG mistakes, and feel broken. But, through you, I pray that my boy will only feel your steadfast and unconditional love!


***and I sure do hope this is my LAST number post I have to make!!!!! Because these two cuties really want their brother home!!!!!

8 comments:

Rebecca said...

This post just made me tear up! I am so sad for your family, because you've had to wait so long. Pretty unbelievable really. I had certain expectations for the timeline of our process this go round, but I've already thrown that out the window. We have no idea why it takes so long - and that's something that may never be revealed to us by Him. It's hard. I'm hoping and praying that your little boy's heart is being prepared for you guys. I know he will be worth the wait!

JonesEthiopia said...

Ugh. Was SOOO hoping this was the "we got the call!" post. SOON!

The Busters said...

Ugh, so sorry you guys have had to wait so long. I know what you mean about expectations and I have been working really hard on letting go of that. It's not easy! I'm really hoping you guys hear something SOON!!

Murphy Momma said...

I know it hurts to wait and that each day is a battle. Praying God will not only carry you through but that you will continue to praise Him in this storm.

Karen said...

Oh Suzi. I am so sad for you. I know how hard this is for you.

The Gresham Clan said...

You are awesome Suzi! I can't imagine how frustrated you are, but to hear your dependence on God reminds me that I need to do that daily as well! Miss you!!

Mark and Sarah said...

Oh Suzi, I thought the end of the rope was way back there...this sucks. I know you're clinging to Jesus, which is the only way to go, but it's okay to cry and grieve your hopes. If you'd like a little taste of Ethiopia while you wait, I'd love to introduce you to our little one. I don't know if that would make it better or worse. I'm so sorry.

Jen said...

as we are starting to think about getting back on the ride...wow..7m!!!!! Are you kidding???? I will be praying that I don't see the 8.

 

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