I just wanted to thank everyone for their great comments and suggestions on my previous post. I'm definitely not the only one dealing with this! We've always talked to Jacob about everything.... and he seemed really understanding... and a bit aloof in his 4 year old way.... and we just said that sister does get a lot of attention right now, but when he was a baby, I was always stopped and told what a darling little boy he was, etc, etc..... babies just tend to get more attention. Bottom line: It's best to just be open and honest about everything. Stuff does affect the younger ones and we need to keep the dialog flowing... it's definitely not the first time issues are going to come up! And, obviously it's not affecting him too much.... he informed me the other day that he wants the biggest family in the whole wide world and he thinks we'll just have to get a bigger kitchen table and a few more chairs. He's got a lot of love to give!!! (I'm just hoping the attention slows down as Grace gets older so it doesn't start affecting her in a negative way and she starts understanding everyone's comments! Really though, I could do without the reference to her looking "just like a cabbage patch doll"!! She's my daughter, for pete's sake!!!)
Well..... we're off for our first ever boys' weekend/girls' weekend!! Mike and Jacob are going camping/fishing together, so I decided to take Grace and meet up with my parents on their boat for the weekend!
And, what's a post without a few cute pics?!?!?
World's Best Cat: She let these 3 play doctor on her for a good 30 min!!!
Coloring fun!!
Coloring fun!!
2 comments:
Hi Suzi -
I think you're absolutely right - Grace's and Nina's hair is so similar! I saw you're using the Curly Q products - how often do you wash, condition, and/or use the milkshake stuff? I'm using Carol's Daughter products now, but I'm still not real clear how often I'm supposed to do everything! You can email me offline if you'd like: elyons3683@msn.com
Thank you!
Liz
It's me again -
I had a thought last night. When our twins were born, and Grace had just turned two, the comments and enthusiasm from strangers were monumental. As Grace got closer to three and the comments continued, she didn't express that it bothered her to be left out, but it bothered ME! One strategy I had that worked really well was, when someone would comment on the babies, I'd say, "Thanks - and they have a fantastic big sister!" and gesture to her or touch her head or something. This usually prompted them to say something to her like, "How do you like being a big sister?" or "What do you think of these guys?" or "You must be such a huge help!" I think people just get caught up with a baby/babies and they don't MEAN to leave the older ones out, but prompting them in this way triggers them in that moment and it also likely gives many of them sort of an Aha experience whereby the next time they comment on a baby, they WILL notice the older ones and include them in the conversation as well.
It was important to me to find a way to make sure Grace was included in the conversation because she's not invisible. She rarely really responded to these folks, but that wasn't my goal. I just wanted to make sure she'd been seen.
Maybe that helps?
Liz
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